Deeply distressing or disturbing events such as the loss of a loved one unexpectedly, loss of health, any form of abuse, betrayal from family or another intimate relationship, just to name a few, are traumatic and can overwhelm our nervous system and our ability to cope.
The psychological impacts can be especially long lasting and debilitating if the traumatic events were unexpected and shocking to us, or we felt a strong sense of being trapped. It can diminish our sense of self and our ability to feel the full range of emotions and experiences. In such circumstances when we feel empty, despair or helpless it might be because our nervous system is overwhelmed, our body feels heavy, we feel depleted and numb. This inactivity can be helpful for us to cope by resting and recovering.
A physical injury, such as a broken arm, makes us feel pain which encourages us not to move, this is the body helping us to get through the trauma in the best way that we can to aid recovery. Similarly, intense feelings of emptiness, despair and helplessness are pain signals indicating that our body is experiencing severe distress and we need to take notice. Ironically if we feel unbearable nothingness it is sometimes because we are overfull and overwhelmed.
One essential self-care practice during these difficult times is to learn how to breathe calmly and remain in a state of relative physical relaxation, even while accessing painful memories. Regular meditation, relaxing breathing, taking a bath, walking, or swimming are examples of activities that help to sooth our overwhelmed nervous system.